Dog turds, laser tag, and Andalites!
by BrocktreeZero
Summary: Randomnity abound.


Dog turds, laser tag, and Andalites!

I'm sorry for the torment you're about to suffer. I had lost way too much sleep. The Andalite bit was born of a 24 oz coke chugged in thirty seconds.

"Come on Inuyasha! We have to if we want to be polite, which I, for one, do." said Kagome. "No Way! Especially if _He'll_ be there!" said Inuyasha "you know how much I despise _him_!" "There might be ramen!" said Kagome teasingly "Well, maybe." "alright, either come or else." "or else what?" he said timidly.I know what's coming he thought. "osu-" "OKAY, OKAY, I'll do it. feh, wench." oh crap ,I think she heard that Kagome was giving him the evil eye. To an observer, it would look like inuyasha was getting intimate with the dirt.

Meanwhile, at my house, Me and my friend Addie where preparing to meet our most idolized anime characters, along with some other well known favorites. "I just cant control my excitement!! I love these guys!!" Than an idea struck me like a thunderbolt. you know, the Ellimist is still deeply in dept to me, so, Hehehe, HAHAHA! er, yeah.

"Hmm, You know, I wonder how this guy found us?" said Marco. "I mean come on, sometimes even I cant find this valley!" Prince Jake, is it possible that... Said (is it really "saying" ,though?) Ax. "No, he wouldn't, especially for a controller like him." "For the last time, I am not a bloody controller!" I said "heck, I'll wait for three days, or even eat that horrid stuff oatmeal!! Just let me talk to you!" "you can talk to us from that chair" said Rachel. "and how did you find us anyway?" "You know him, you love him, the almighty Ellimist!" "Oh great.!" said cassie. "JEEZ, you guys are thick! finally! Okay, so I lied a little, I have something like a yeerk in me, BUT, but, I can control it. Its called a guauld." "kinda like in that show stargate sg1?" "do you think its just a show, Marco?" o0 "ummmmm....... yah, actually I kinda did..." my life just gets weirder and weirder.

"duh. alright. first of all, I'd kind like to invite you all to a sort of party." that is if I can get the SGC to cooperate... "I think you guys really need a break from fighting. soooo, how about it?" "what if it's a trap?" "why would I lure you into a trap, when I could go for an all-out assault?" I do not know. "point and case." "Alright, we'll come. so, just where is this?" said Jake "I'm pretty sure Marco knows where Cheyenne mountain is, don't you?" "....... oh, no. huh uh. NO WAY! you didn't!" exclaimed Marco. "You're right. I didn't. not yet. but I will. sooo... see you guys at around eight on Saturday?" by the expression on prince jakes face, you might, or you might not...

" But general Hammond, we all need a break! We have been working hard for years! and besides, every time we do get a break, some crisis comes up!" said colonel jack O'Neill. "While that is true, Colonel, we cannot convert the mountain into one big party zone/laser tag arena! It is just unthinkable! Bring in the dolt who suggested it!" yelled general Hammond. "Well, sir, that may be a problem. He kinda, you know-" pop "You ask for me?" ah, the power of the author "disappeared? well, sir, here he is." "General Hammond. With all due respect, Everyone at the base needs a break. and what if I where to say that I had a force posted above the earth, undetectable, ready to destroy the base if it isn't converted for just one day?" "I'd call you a damn liar!" "good, at least you're sensible. now, what if I where to enlist teal'c's help to bind and gag you, and lock you in a closet, until such time as you can see it the rest of your crew's way? And feed you only stinky cheese, really bad eggs, and flat, non-caffienated cola?" "NOT THE COLA!!!! NOOOOOOO! Okay, I suppose I could let it happen. For three days. that is it." god, I know I'm gonna live to regret this.

Later that night, the base was completely transformed into a party zone, with laser tag, food, multiple dance rooms and the D.J.'s to go with them. Daniel Jackson, having not been informed, was running around, searching for any shred of sanity left, of which he was not fated to find, as general Hammond had locked himself in his office, and teal'c was just as happy to have a break as the rest. Inuyasha was running around, sniffing everyone, and grumbling something about "I cant believe I actually was dragged in here..." Major carter had taken a liking to studying the hork-bajiir, and Marco was just schmoozing. I was trying to educate both Teal'c and Ax on earth colloquialisms and customs. It was harder than it would seem. The colonel was studying the major, turning every time she looked, than going back to staring and drooling. I gave up my educating, and went to a dance room. the where playing "Iron Man". It was interrupted by an announcement over the speakers. " Unauthorized gate access! Unauthorized gate access!" Thank God! thought general Hammond. All of SG1 rushed to the "Embarkation" room, seeing the Asgard high commander, Thor, at the gate entrance. He instantly asked the Colonel: " The asgard have heard that you are having a party. As have the Tok'ra. We request that we be invited." he replies : "Ummmmm... how did you find out?" Completely out of character, Thor grinned, and said mischievously: "We have our sources. Now, are we invited?" "Of course." instantly, many Asgard and Tok'ra emerged from the gate. "Thank you"

"So where are these mystery guests?" asked colonel Jack O'Neill. "Oh, they'll be here, I can guarantee that." oh, the power of blackmail... After much partying, most of the SGC had been resting, eating, and schmoozing, as Marco had for most of the party. Suddenly, there was a small spark of excitement as who they thought was Teal'c entered the room. But it turns out, it was not the jaffa, so much as it was a human weapon, A.K.A. Domovoi Butler, A.K.A. Butler. Following him, was a small boy, at the age of thirteen. His name, was Artemis Fowl. Now, as you know, Artemis detests parties, but through the magic of blackmail, anything is possible. wink, wink, nudge, nudge "Butler, remind me why we are here." Asks Artemis. Butler replies, barely suppressing a grin. "Because, this boy, Seba, has a tape recording of you singing in the shower, with which he is blackmailing you into ((finally)) attending a party." "Ah. thank you." "Artemis! Hello!" I said, brimming with excitement. "Do I by any chance know you?" he replied, crossly. "no, but if you dont cheer up, I shall play this tape over the A.P. system." I hissed, as butler, from a safe distance, burst out laughing at the sour look on Artemis's face. Just then, Major Samantha carter walked into the room, and Artemis turned his head. His jaw just about hit the floor as he thought: ..............wow......... pretty...... For the first time ever, he was not only speechless, but thoughtless as well. "Artemis, meet major Samantha carter." I said, then ran to where Butler was, nearly screaming with laughter, as Butler asked: "What's so funny?" "See that lady there? That is major Samantha Carter. Artemis..." I was cut off by a fit of laughter "Artemis has the hots for her." Butler started laughing like a madman, and managed to squeeze out: "Is... that... Is that even... possible?" "Love works in strange ways." Afterwards, and after many minutes of trying to control ourselves, Butler pointed out that everyone was staring at the door. In the doorway was a very drunken Thor, along with a disgruntled Teal'c. Teal'c spotted us, and hurried towards us. "I have read in some books that humans have magic spells that can ward off unwanted lovers. PLEASE, please help me use one to ward off...ward off..." suddenly, he started crying, and after several more minutes, he had calmed down enough to tell us who. "To ward off... Thor... he's highly intoxicated...... WAHAHAHAHA..." he says, crying again. Butler and I looked towards Thor, to see him winking at Teal'c. "Oh my gawd..." I moaned. "HA! I know who I can call to help!!!" I say, running towards the Daniel Jackson's office and a phone....

Cliffhanger!!! BWAHAHAHAHHA!!!

End of chapter one.


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